Looking Back on Depression
In the midst of severe clinical depression I have never felt
anything redeeming about it, spiritually or otherwise. But when
I emerge back into life, several things become clear.
One is that the darkness did not kill me, which makes all
darknesses more bearable--and since darkness is an inevitable
part of the cycle of spiritual life (as it is in the cycle of natural
life) this is valuable knowledge.
Two, depression has taught me that
there is something in me far deeper and stronger and truer
than my ego, my emotions, my intellect, or my will.
All of these faculties have failed me in depression, and if they
were all I had, I do not believe I would still be here to talk
about the experience.
Deeper down there is a soul, or true self, or "that of God in
every person" that helps explain (for me, at least) where the
real power of life resides.
Three, the experience of emerging from a living hell makes the
rest of one's life more precious, no matter how "ordinary" it
may be.
To know that life is a gift, and to be grateful for that
gift, are keys to a spiritual life, keys that one is handed as
depression yields to new life.
--Parker Palmer, Ph.D.
from the question "How could depression
lead to a richer spiritual life?"